untitled thoughts

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This week I’ve been having so many thoughts, which I cannot sort out, which been roaming around my head for too long causing me stress, headache, and heartburn. For a moment while I was waiting for my turn at the Bank I thought “How much time to I waste every day scrolling aimlessly on social media, and how much of all that is useful, something that actually building something in me” and the answer was “none”.
I am guilty of watching too much you tube videos, scrolling too much on Instagram, re-bloging too much on tumblr. too much of that made me lose so much. I became lost, in the sense of what do I really like do to, what does my true personality look like.

I notice that because I’ve been looking too much at others peoples life’s, their interests, their everyday life, I lost myself. What do I do everyday, what are my interests, how do I like to spend my day.

So I decided to cut myself off social media, especially taking them off my phone. i wanted to focus more on My life. Its been 5 days, I feel better. I honestly do. It still feel tempting to go download the apps from my phone, but I wont. I’m not planning to download the apps anytime sooner, so far I’m not thinking of that.

This week I’ve been reading many book samples. deciding on what to buy this weekend, and I’ve come across 3 so far which I’m excited to read.

I’m also proud of myself for going to the swimming pool for 5 days, I’ve been really enjoying swimming so much, I feel so overwhelmed. just being in water calms me, and makes me feeling free and floating. I love how the sun hits the tiles on the surface of the pool making it glitter. I love the view under the water. I love how very thing feel so calm, so quite, so peaceful under water, as if its not from this world. I love how I try to catch my breath after several laps. I love how feet looks so free floating in water. Going to the pool, treating myself an hour everyday to be by myself, is such a blessing, and I’m very grateful for that.


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